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My Needs are Simple and Few!


My dear owner,

Thank you once again for giving me shelter. (Lick, slurp, lick, slurp) Aside from food, shelter and love, my needs are simple and few! Since I am dependent upon you to provide for me, we should discuss my basic needs. I can lend you the canine insight that you may lack as a human, particularly if I am your first canine companion pet.

Of course, I require a steady supply of food and fresh water, and while I long for the same quality of culinary delight that you routinely enjoy, I know that's an unrealistic expectation. As long as you feed me something that's nutritionally suited for my species, I'll happily devour whatever little morsels of people food you throw my way. I'm not particularly fond of that stuff that comes from the tap, but it'll do in a pinch. I draw the line at drinking from toilets.

Splish splash

In addition to my regular veterinary care, I'll need a flea and tick collar at a bare minimum. How would you like those critters crawling all over you? Please help me to prevent them from crawling on me.

If you want to show me off for company, how about you pick up some grooming aids so I can look my sexy best? I SO look forward to weekly shampoos. Who needs rubber duckies when you get to splash at humans at bath time? I understand that humans multitask, and I love those massages with the grooming gloves, so we could watch TV together while you give my coat a nightly massage. I cannot vacuum after myself (but maybe you could suggest that as an advanced course at obedience school), so you might want to pick up some of those hair pickup tools for yourself.

A bowl of my very own

I could use a doggie bowl or two, something simple, yet elegant, perhaps something with my name on it. It's not that I mind sharing your everyday bowls, but it would be nice to have something that's all mine when it comes to feeding and watering troughs. I'll need one for food and one for water, and an everyday pattern will suffice-no need for an expensive china pattern.

Collars and other jewelry

I look forward to our walks together, but it's just too tempting for me to stray when you walk me without a leash. I think the government suits must be on to us doggies, since they've enacted those pesky leash laws everywhere. So, if you want to continue spending this quality time with me, you'll need to find a leash that fits me properly, is strong enough to hold me, and is the proper length. If it's too long, I'll trip all over myself, but if it's not long enough, I won't have the room I need to roam. I know that there is a dizzying array of leashes available, but please use a little discretion and choose one with the right "look" for my breed so that all the other doggies don't make fun of me. They can be so darn cruel!

Creature comforts

I was told that most humans have jobs, so I understand that you'll be spending time away from me. If you could see your way clear to leaving a few creature comforts behind, it would really help. First, I don't want to hog your people furniture-it's too big for me anyway. I could use one of those nice, comfy doggie beds. Floors are meant to be walked on, not lounged upon. I know that there are a number of places that I should not go when you're gone, so spray that indoor repellent, and I'll learn the first time. I'm a quick study-something about Pavlov!

Dogs in toyland

Toys will help me pass the time, assist me in my development, and most importantly, distract me from the fact that you're not here. I could have some REAL fun if you'd get me my very own cat, but I realize that is not likely. Here is a list of things that I would really, really enjoy if you cannot get me my own cat:

- A nice supply of those rubber, chewy thingies

- Squishy, squeaky, talking toys

- Rawhide chews, dental chews, anything that I will mistake for a bone

- Treats, treats, and more treats - a never-ending supply of treats

Special occasion gifts

You humans have your porches, your patios and your tree houses. I would give my doggie eye teeth for my very own dog house. You could have Santa deliver it in time for the holidays, or you save it for a birthday treat. Either way, it'll give me my own little hideaway and protect me from the elements, should you take temporary leave of your human senses and leave me outside while you run one of your many errands. If you can't swing the canine estate just yet, maybe we could negotiate a doggie door?

Above all, I require the same devotion and attention that you expect from me. Treat me right, and I'll be your best friend for life.

Love and kisses,

Your beloved doggie

M J Plaster is a successful author who provides information on shopping online for pet supplies and needs and treats for dogs. M J Plaster has been a commercial freelance writer for almost two decades, most recently specializing in home and garden, the low-carb lifestyle, investing, and anything that defines la dolce vita.


TODAYS NEWS BY OFFICEJAX FREE ADVERTISING AND AD EXCHANGE SOLUTIONSMORE PETS INFORMATION RESOURCES updated Thu. April / 22 / 2021

Flagler Humane Society pets of the week and a word about ticks and fleas - Palm Coast Observer
Flagler Humane Society pets of the week and a word about ticks and fleas  Palm Coast Observer

10 Eco-Friendly Pet Products to Help You Celebrate Earth Day with Your Cat or Dog - PEOPLE
10 Eco-Friendly Pet Products to Help You Celebrate Earth Day with Your Cat or Dog  PEOPLE

Charleston Animal Society, Petco using facial recognition technology to locate lost pets - WCBD News 2
Charleston Animal Society, Petco using facial recognition technology to locate lost pets  WCBD News 2

Funds, resources available to help spay, neuter pets – Corydon Democrat - Corydon Democrat
Funds, resources available to help spay, neuter pets – Corydon Democrat  Corydon Democrat

Tips for keeping your pets safe as summer approaches - 12news.com KPNX
Tips for keeping your pets safe as summer approaches  12news.com KPNX

Pets on the Plaza: Meet Foggy - 47abc - WMDT
Pets on the Plaza: Meet Foggy - 47abc  WMDT

Pets of the week | Featured Content | suncoastnews.com - Suncoast News
Pets of the week | Featured Content | suncoastnews.com  Suncoast News

Does Your Pet Have Separation Anxiety? Or Do You? - The New York Times
Does Your Pet Have Separation Anxiety? Or Do You?  The New York Times

CITY ADMINISTRATOR REMINDS RESIDENTS THEY NEED TO CONTROL THEIR PETS - kmmo.com
CITY ADMINISTRATOR REMINDS RESIDENTS THEY NEED TO CONTROL THEIR PETS  kmmo.com

News A Wilder View: What do our pets think of us? - KPAX-TV
News A Wilder View: What do our pets think of us?  KPAX-TV

Make cross-country moves easier on you, pets - The Leader
Make cross-country moves easier on you, pets  The Leader

Meet the Plus-Size Orphan Pets That Are Seeking New Homes and Healthier Routines in California - PEOPLE
Meet the Plus-Size Orphan Pets That Are Seeking New Homes and Healthier Routines in California  PEOPLE

Bedford fire leaves two pets dead, three people displaced - WDBJ7
Bedford fire leaves two pets dead, three people displaced  WDBJ7

Photos: A look at presidential pets through the years - Muscatine Journal
Photos: A look at presidential pets through the years  Muscatine Journal

Gentreo Pets: A New Way to Treat Pets Like the Family They Are - WFMZ Allentown
Gentreo Pets: A New Way to Treat Pets Like the Family They Are  WFMZ Allentown

Pets of the week: Archer is a playful boy. Eve is the queen of the cat condos - MLive.com
Pets of the week: Archer is a playful boy. Eve is the queen of the cat condos  MLive.com

Meet Papa, Snowshoes, Nigel and Brimsley, this week’s Pets of the Week in San Gabriel Valley/Whittier - The San Gabriel Valley Tribune
Meet Papa, Snowshoes, Nigel and Brimsley, this week’s Pets of the Week in San Gabriel Valley/Whittier  The San Gabriel Valley Tribune

Good Day Pets – Meet Castor! - KCAU 9
Good Day Pets – Meet Castor!  KCAU 9

Y-K Delta officials recommend residents vaccinate pets 'as soon as possible' after rabid foxes found - Anchorage Daily News
Y-K Delta officials recommend residents vaccinate pets 'as soon as possible' after rabid foxes found  Anchorage Daily News

Pets experience separation anxiety as owners return to work - WGHP FOX 8 Greensboro
Pets experience separation anxiety as owners return to work  WGHP FOX 8 Greensboro

Peloton Tread Plus: CPSC warns it can kill kids, pets and says stop using it 'immediately' - CNET
Peloton Tread Plus: CPSC warns it can kill kids, pets and says stop using it 'immediately'  CNET

Protecting your pet from rabies - WJBF-TV
Protecting your pet from rabies  WJBF-TV

Adoptable pets from Arizona Humane Society and Maricopa County Animal Care (4/21/2021) - ABC15 Arizona
Adoptable pets from Arizona Humane Society and Maricopa County Animal Care (4/21/2021)  ABC15 Arizona

Adoptable Pets Of The Week: Sam, Keanna, Wade, Leia, Harper - Patch.com
Adoptable Pets Of The Week: Sam, Keanna, Wade, Leia, Harper  Patch.com

Pets of the week, April 21 | Local News | hickoryrecord.com - Hickory Daily Record
Pets of the week, April 21 | Local News | hickoryrecord.com  Hickory Daily Record

Moore County Pet Responsibility Committee Intensifies Efforts | Features | thepilot.com - Southern Pines Pilot
Moore County Pet Responsibility Committee Intensifies Efforts | Features | thepilot.com  Southern Pines Pilot

Free Pet Food, Toys Available At Pop-Up Friday In Pilsen - Block Club Chicago
Free Pet Food, Toys Available At Pop-Up Friday In Pilsen  Block Club Chicago

KCBD’s Pet of the Day: Meet Lexus - KCBD
KCBD’s Pet of the Day: Meet Lexus  KCBD

Who let the dogs out? Therapy pets returns to Moffitt Cancer Center - Bay News 9
Who let the dogs out? Therapy pets returns to Moffitt Cancer Center  Bay News 9

Providence Animal Center Pet of the Week: Harley - The Delaware County Daily Times
Providence Animal Center Pet of the Week: Harley  The Delaware County Daily Times

Check out this easy and affordable solution for excess pet fur | TheHill - The Hill
Check out this easy and affordable solution for excess pet fur | TheHill  The Hill

How to prevent obesity in senior dogs - Opelika Auburn News
How to prevent obesity in senior dogs  Opelika Auburn News

Stopping separation anxiety with your pet at Helen Woodward Animal Center - - KUSI
Stopping separation anxiety with your pet at Helen Woodward Animal Center -  KUSI

'Fur-ever homed' . . . Moorhead artist creates pet adoption-themed sailboat for '150 Sails Up' - Detroit Lakes Tribune
'Fur-ever homed' . . . Moorhead artist creates pet adoption-themed sailboat for '150 Sails Up'  Detroit Lakes Tribune

PetSafe gives advice on essentials for first-time pet parents - WATE 6 On Your Side
PetSafe gives advice on essentials for first-time pet parents  WATE 6 On Your Side

The time has come to start training the pets for your return to work - CNN
The time has come to start training the pets for your return to work  CNN

Companies reevaluating pet policies at work in wake of pandemic - The Denver Channel
Companies reevaluating pet policies at work in wake of pandemic  The Denver Channel

Lafayette shelter pets hitch a ride to freedom and life - KATC Lafayette News
Lafayette shelter pets hitch a ride to freedom and life  KATC Lafayette News

Ever Wondered How Your Betta Fish Sleeps? We Asked Vets to Learn More - POPSUGAR
Ever Wondered How Your Betta Fish Sleeps? We Asked Vets to Learn More  POPSUGAR

Huntsville Animal Services lowering pet adoption prices - WAFF
Huntsville Animal Services lowering pet adoption prices  WAFF

Dog owner finds threatening note and poisoned bone because the pet 'barks too much' - Fox News
Dog owner finds threatening note and poisoned bone because the pet 'barks too much'  Fox News

Northport Adoptable Pets Of The Week: Fall - Patch.com
Northport Adoptable Pets Of The Week: Fall  Patch.com

Tampa Bay area pets hope to share their love with you - Tampa Bay Times
Tampa Bay area pets hope to share their love with you  Tampa Bay Times

Link Reservations Inc./LinkResPet (LRSV) Developing CBD Product to Combat Pet Obesity - Yahoo Finance
Link Reservations Inc./LinkResPet (LRSV) Developing CBD Product to Combat Pet Obesity  Yahoo Finance

Pet Food Companies Look to the Future With Cell-Cultured Meat - Modern Farmer
Pet Food Companies Look to the Future With Cell-Cultured Meat  Modern Farmer

Pet of the Week: Athena - ARLnow
Pet of the Week: Athena  ARLnow

Pandemic surge, CBD growth help boost pet supplement category - Supermarket News
Pandemic surge, CBD growth help boost pet supplement category  Supermarket News

Pet Food Donation Drive-Thru to Help Struggling Pet Owners - Santa Barbara Edhat
Pet Food Donation Drive-Thru to Help Struggling Pet Owners  Santa Barbara Edhat

Pet Licenses are Required for Furry Family Members; 'License for Love' Campaign Waives Late Fees - livingsnoqualmie.com
Pet Licenses are Required for Furry Family Members; 'License for Love' Campaign Waives Late Fees  livingsnoqualmie.com

Bluebonnet Animal Hospital Riverside Vet Pet Of The Week: Meet This Energetic, Acrobatic, Permakitten! - KXAN.com
Bluebonnet Animal Hospital Riverside Vet Pet Of The Week: Meet This Energetic, Acrobatic, Permakitten!  KXAN.com

Pet Wise: Grooming pets provides health and safety benefits - Baltimore Sun
Pet Wise: Grooming pets provides health and safety benefits  Baltimore Sun

PHOTOS: Barrow County Animal Control Adoptable Pets of the Week — April 19 - Gwinnettdailypost.com
PHOTOS: Barrow County Animal Control Adoptable Pets of the Week — April 19  Gwinnettdailypost.com

Asian Woman's Pet Cat Killed in Vicious Attack from Cruel Family on Walk - Newsweek
Asian Woman's Pet Cat Killed in Vicious Attack from Cruel Family on Walk  Newsweek

Pet Scene: Summit County's adoptable pets for the week of April 18, 2021 - Summit Daily News
Pet Scene: Summit County's adoptable pets for the week of April 18, 2021  Summit Daily News

Video The Impact of Reopening on Our Pets - WebMD
Video The Impact of Reopening on Our Pets  WebMD

The Tamagotchi Pix has a built-in camera for taking pictures with your pet - The Verge
The Tamagotchi Pix has a built-in camera for taking pictures with your pet  The Verge

Magistrate rules in favor of Springboro family’s pet pot-bellied pig - WHIO Radio
Magistrate rules in favor of Springboro family’s pet pot-bellied pig  WHIO Radio

Pets and the pandemic | Articles | fairfaxtimes.com - Fairfaxtimes.com
Pets and the pandemic | Articles | fairfaxtimes.com  Fairfaxtimes.com

Dilworth City Council to discuss limiting pets, microchip licensing - INFORUM
Dilworth City Council to discuss limiting pets, microchip licensing  INFORUM

Pet-friendly vacations, hot air balloons, and a luxury bike trip - The Boston Globe
Pet-friendly vacations, hot air balloons, and a luxury bike trip  The Boston Globe

Barron’s Stock Pick: Pet Care Is Booming. Here’s a Stock to Play It. - Barron's
Barron’s Stock Pick: Pet Care Is Booming. Here’s a Stock to Play It.  Barron's

Second Chance Pets: Miss Molly - KOIN.com
Second Chance Pets: Miss Molly  KOIN.com

U.K. police hunt rabbit thief after giant celebrity pet Darius goes missing - NBC News
U.K. police hunt rabbit thief after giant celebrity pet Darius goes missing  NBC News

Noon Pet Of The Week: Tyson - WXII12 Winston-Salem
Noon Pet Of The Week: Tyson  WXII12 Winston-Salem

Aurora pet sale ordinance still up in the air - Chicago Tribune
Aurora pet sale ordinance still up in the air  Chicago Tribune

Pet of the Week: Annabeth - WITN
Pet of the Week: Annabeth  WITN

Netflix Reality Show Pet Stars Follows Hollywood Pet Talent Agents - PEOPLE
Netflix Reality Show Pet Stars Follows Hollywood Pet Talent Agents  PEOPLE

'Boozehounds': Palm Springs pet-friendly restaurant and bar hopes to give back to the community - kuna noticias y kuna radio
'Boozehounds': Palm Springs pet-friendly restaurant and bar hopes to give back to the community  kuna noticias y kuna radio

Pet Health: Being prepared for an emergency - KOIN.com
Pet Health: Being prepared for an emergency  KOIN.com

Midcoast Humane helps lost pets reunite with their owners through microchips - WGME
Midcoast Humane helps lost pets reunite with their owners through microchips  WGME

Pet Supplies Plus Supports National Pet ID Week Through Discounted Microchipping - PRNewswire
Pet Supplies Plus Supports National Pet ID Week Through Discounted Microchipping  PRNewswire

Pets of the Week: April 15, 2021 - WSIL TV
Pets of the Week: April 15, 2021  WSIL TV

On Your Side podcast: Pet Scam, Unemployment Overpayments and Spring Cleaning Don't Forgets - KY3
On Your Side podcast: Pet Scam, Unemployment Overpayments and Spring Cleaning Don't Forgets  KY3

April 21 Pet of the Week: Basil - FOX21News.com
April 21 Pet of the Week: Basil  FOX21News.com

After lost dog found, KCK owner says local pet rescue not giving him back - WDAF FOX4 Kansas City
After lost dog found, KCK owner says local pet rescue not giving him back  WDAF FOX4 Kansas City

Cicada Concerns for Pet Owners - Fox Baltimore
Cicada Concerns for Pet Owners  Fox Baltimore

Pet of the Week: Freya - WBNG-TV
Pet of the Week: Freya  WBNG-TV

Family-owned pet store to open on Milwaukee’s East Side - BizTimes Milwaukee
Family-owned pet store to open on Milwaukee’s East Side  BizTimes Milwaukee

Pet Pals TV: Paws, Wings & Other Things - WISHTV.com
Pet Pals TV: Paws, Wings & Other Things  WISHTV.com

Chicken lollipop pet treats from Hong Kong seized at Dallas-Fort Worth Int’l - WGHP FOX 8 Greensboro
Chicken lollipop pet treats from Hong Kong seized at Dallas-Fort Worth Int’l  WGHP FOX 8 Greensboro

Providence Animal Center Pet of the Week: Safiya - The Delaware County Daily Times
Providence Animal Center Pet of the Week: Safiya  The Delaware County Daily Times

InventHelp Inventor Develops Pet Product for Vehicle Protection (PIT-1162) - Daily Local News
InventHelp Inventor Develops Pet Product for Vehicle Protection (PIT-1162)  Daily Local News

No, your pet won't die if it eats a cicada. What to know about Brood X - CNET
No, your pet won't die if it eats a cicada. What to know about Brood X  CNET

AVMA celebrating what pets have meant to people during pandemic - American Veterinary Medical Association
AVMA celebrating what pets have meant to people during pandemic  American Veterinary Medical Association

Smart Pet Feeder Is Well Engineered - Hackaday
Smart Pet Feeder Is Well Engineered  Hackaday

Tampa Bay area pets looking for new families - Tampa Bay Times
Tampa Bay area pets looking for new families  Tampa Bay Times

News Salmonella Scare Drives Pet Food Recall - WebMD
News Salmonella Scare Drives Pet Food Recall  WebMD

Suspect Arrested For Allegedly Terrorizing Antioch Family, Fatally Shooting Pet Dog While Fleeing Police - CBS San Francisco
Suspect Arrested For Allegedly Terrorizing Antioch Family, Fatally Shooting Pet Dog While Fleeing Police  CBS San Francisco

Pet of the Week: Ronnie - KEZI TV
Pet of the Week: Ronnie  KEZI TV

Gardening safely with pets — Top 10 plants to avoid - The Mercury News
Gardening safely with pets — Top 10 plants to avoid  The Mercury News

Pets Of The Week: Animal Lifeline Pittsburgh – News, Sports, Weather, Traffic and the Best of Pittsburgh - CBS Pittsburgh
Pets Of The Week: Animal Lifeline Pittsburgh – News, Sports, Weather, Traffic and the Best of Pittsburgh  CBS Pittsburgh

IBD Stock Of The Day Idexx Labs Nears Breakout On Bullish Pet Trends - Investor's Business Daily
IBD Stock Of The Day Idexx Labs Nears Breakout On Bullish Pet Trends  Investor's Business Daily

Mustang is KLBK’s Pet of the Day! - KLBK | KAMC | EverythingLubbock.com
Mustang is KLBK’s Pet of the Day!  KLBK | KAMC | EverythingLubbock.com

Haunted Mansion's Pet Cemetery Has a New Death Bed - Inside the Magic
Haunted Mansion's Pet Cemetery Has a New Death Bed  Inside the Magic

WATCH: Adoptable Pet of the Day, meet Sol - WIVT - NewsChannel 34
WATCH: Adoptable Pet of the Day, meet Sol  WIVT - NewsChannel 34

Alejandro Davidovich Fokina Launches Spanish Pet Adoption Platform - ATP Tour
Alejandro Davidovich Fokina Launches Spanish Pet Adoption Platform  ATP Tour

EPA Investigating Pet Incidents Involving Seresto Collars - NBC10 Boston
EPA Investigating Pet Incidents Involving Seresto Collars  NBC10 Boston

Caduceus Corp: McLovin's Pet Food Receives Promotional Purchase Order from KeHE Distributors - Yahoo Finance
Caduceus Corp: McLovin's Pet Food Receives Promotional Purchase Order from KeHE Distributors  Yahoo Finance

Pet of the Week | Quad City Animal Welfare Center - WHBF - OurQuadCities.com
Pet of the Week | Quad City Animal Welfare Center  WHBF - OurQuadCities.com

Council Bluffs pet owner promises better conditions after animals seized - WOWT
Council Bluffs pet owner promises better conditions after animals seized  WOWT

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