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My Needs are Simple and Few!


My dear owner,

Thank you once again for giving me shelter. (Lick, slurp, lick, slurp) Aside from food, shelter and love, my needs are simple and few! Since I am dependent upon you to provide for me, we should discuss my basic needs. I can lend you the canine insight that you may lack as a human, particularly if I am your first canine companion pet.

Of course, I require a steady supply of food and fresh water, and while I long for the same quality of culinary delight that you routinely enjoy, I know that's an unrealistic expectation. As long as you feed me something that's nutritionally suited for my species, I'll happily devour whatever little morsels of people food you throw my way. I'm not particularly fond of that stuff that comes from the tap, but it'll do in a pinch. I draw the line at drinking from toilets.

Splish splash

In addition to my regular veterinary care, I'll need a flea and tick collar at a bare minimum. How would you like those critters crawling all over you? Please help me to prevent them from crawling on me.

If you want to show me off for company, how about you pick up some grooming aids so I can look my sexy best? I SO look forward to weekly shampoos. Who needs rubber duckies when you get to splash at humans at bath time? I understand that humans multitask, and I love those massages with the grooming gloves, so we could watch TV together while you give my coat a nightly massage. I cannot vacuum after myself (but maybe you could suggest that as an advanced course at obedience school), so you might want to pick up some of those hair pickup tools for yourself.

A bowl of my very own

I could use a doggie bowl or two, something simple, yet elegant, perhaps something with my name on it. It's not that I mind sharing your everyday bowls, but it would be nice to have something that's all mine when it comes to feeding and watering troughs. I'll need one for food and one for water, and an everyday pattern will suffice-no need for an expensive china pattern.

Collars and other jewelry

I look forward to our walks together, but it's just too tempting for me to stray when you walk me without a leash. I think the government suits must be on to us doggies, since they've enacted those pesky leash laws everywhere. So, if you want to continue spending this quality time with me, you'll need to find a leash that fits me properly, is strong enough to hold me, and is the proper length. If it's too long, I'll trip all over myself, but if it's not long enough, I won't have the room I need to roam. I know that there is a dizzying array of leashes available, but please use a little discretion and choose one with the right "look" for my breed so that all the other doggies don't make fun of me. They can be so darn cruel!

Creature comforts

I was told that most humans have jobs, so I understand that you'll be spending time away from me. If you could see your way clear to leaving a few creature comforts behind, it would really help. First, I don't want to hog your people furniture-it's too big for me anyway. I could use one of those nice, comfy doggie beds. Floors are meant to be walked on, not lounged upon. I know that there are a number of places that I should not go when you're gone, so spray that indoor repellent, and I'll learn the first time. I'm a quick study-something about Pavlov!

Dogs in toyland

Toys will help me pass the time, assist me in my development, and most importantly, distract me from the fact that you're not here. I could have some REAL fun if you'd get me my very own cat, but I realize that is not likely. Here is a list of things that I would really, really enjoy if you cannot get me my own cat:

- A nice supply of those rubber, chewy thingies

- Squishy, squeaky, talking toys

- Rawhide chews, dental chews, anything that I will mistake for a bone

- Treats, treats, and more treats - a never-ending supply of treats

Special occasion gifts

You humans have your porches, your patios and your tree houses. I would give my doggie eye teeth for my very own dog house. You could have Santa deliver it in time for the holidays, or you save it for a birthday treat. Either way, it'll give me my own little hideaway and protect me from the elements, should you take temporary leave of your human senses and leave me outside while you run one of your many errands. If you can't swing the canine estate just yet, maybe we could negotiate a doggie door?

Above all, I require the same devotion and attention that you expect from me. Treat me right, and I'll be your best friend for life.

Love and kisses,

Your beloved doggie

M J Plaster is a successful author who provides information on shopping online for pet supplies and needs and treats for dogs. M J Plaster has been a commercial freelance writer for almost two decades, most recently specializing in home and garden, the low-carb lifestyle, investing, and anything that defines la dolce vita.


TODAYS NEWS BY OFFICEJAX FREE ADVERTISING AND AD EXCHANGE SOLUTIONSMORE PETS INFORMATION RESOURCES updated Mon. June / 14 / 2021

East Bay pets of the week for June 18 - East Bay Times
East Bay pets of the week for June 18  East Bay Times

Submit your pet photos! - Reporter Newspapers
Submit your pet photos!  Reporter Newspapers

Livestock, companion pets need to be included in wildfire evacuation plans - danvillesanramon.com
Livestock, companion pets need to be included in wildfire evacuation plans  danvillesanramon.com

From Tamagotchi to 'Nintendogs:' Why People Love Digital Pets - WIRED
From Tamagotchi to 'Nintendogs:' Why People Love Digital Pets  WIRED

Vet gets thousands of new pets - The Tribune | The Tribune - Ironton Tribune
Vet gets thousands of new pets - The Tribune | The Tribune  Ironton Tribune

'Tails and Tales' summer adoption program aims to connect Lake pet lovers with book lovers - Daily Commercial
'Tails and Tales' summer adoption program aims to connect Lake pet lovers with book lovers  Daily Commercial

Humane Society Offers Tips To Keep Pets Safe During Heat Wave - KPBS
Humane Society Offers Tips To Keep Pets Safe During Heat Wave  KPBS

Are Cicadas Dangerous for Pets to Eat? | Blogs | petproductnews.com - PetProductNews.com
Are Cicadas Dangerous for Pets to Eat? | Blogs | petproductnews.com  PetProductNews.com

Post-pandemic stress in pets: how to ease and spot signs of separation anxiety as you return to work - WCJB
Post-pandemic stress in pets: how to ease and spot signs of separation anxiety as you return to work  WCJB

‘A death sentence’: Animal charity says more small pets abandoned at Mill Creek Park - WYTV
‘A death sentence’: Animal charity says more small pets abandoned at Mill Creek Park  WYTV

Prepare now to care for pets during storms - The Ledger
Prepare now to care for pets during storms  The Ledger

Talking About Pets | Scents that are harmful to pets - Daytona Beach News-Journal
Talking About Pets | Scents that are harmful to pets  Daytona Beach News-Journal

Is COVID-19 more common in pets than we previously thought? - Medical News Today
Is COVID-19 more common in pets than we previously thought?  Medical News Today

Pets for adoption - Arizona Daily Star
Pets for adoption  Arizona Daily Star

More pets are eating insect-based food to fight climate change for their owners - CNBC
More pets are eating insect-based food to fight climate change for their owners  CNBC

NJ pets in need: June 14, 2021 - nj.com - nj.com
NJ pets in need: June 14, 2021 - nj.com  nj.com

PET OF THE WEEK: Sookie | Pets | ivpressonline.com - Imperial Valley Press
PET OF THE WEEK: Sookie | Pets | ivpressonline.com  Imperial Valley Press

Pets of the week: Brick is mellow. Bubbles loves attention. - MLive.com
Pets of the week: Brick is mellow. Bubbles loves attention.  MLive.com

Homeless community’s pets receive a free check-up - WOWK 13 News
Homeless community’s pets receive a free check-up  WOWK 13 News

Hot weather is here: How to keep kids, pets safe this summer - Denton Record Chronicle
Hot weather is here: How to keep kids, pets safe this summer  Denton Record Chronicle

Lighthouse Street animal hoard pets on the mend - erienewsnow.com
Lighthouse Street animal hoard pets on the mend  erienewsnow.com

Pets killed in fire in Wyoming County - WNEP Scranton/Wilkes-Barre
Pets killed in fire in Wyoming County  WNEP Scranton/Wilkes-Barre

A Bangor cemetery will now let people be buried with their pets - Bangor Daily News
A Bangor cemetery will now let people be buried with their pets  Bangor Daily News

Weather officials remind public to never leave kids or pets in hot cars as SoCal braces for heat wave - KTLA
Weather officials remind public to never leave kids or pets in hot cars as SoCal braces for heat wave  KTLA

Marion PD reminds residents not to leave pets in cars unattended with rising temperatures - KGAN TV
Marion PD reminds residents not to leave pets in cars unattended with rising temperatures  KGAN TV

Pizza company putting adoptable pets flyers on boxes - WSMV Nashville
Pizza company putting adoptable pets flyers on boxes  WSMV Nashville

Veterinarians explain how to keep your pets safe from the summer heat in the Ozarks - KY3
Veterinarians explain how to keep your pets safe from the summer heat in the Ozarks  KY3

Family loses 2 pets in Madison house fire - NewsChannel5.com
Family loses 2 pets in Madison house fire  NewsChannel5.com

Dr. Maro: Signs to never ignore in your pets - The Times
Dr. Maro: Signs to never ignore in your pets  The Times

Dog gone summer vacation: Options available for pets to ride along or stay at home - St George News
Dog gone summer vacation: Options available for pets to ride along or stay at home  St George News

Pets available for adoption in King William - Virginian-Pilot
Pets available for adoption in King William  Virginian-Pilot

PAWS AND PAGES: Friendly feral deterrents | Pets | ivpressonline.com - Imperial Valley Press
PAWS AND PAGES: Friendly feral deterrents | Pets | ivpressonline.com  Imperial Valley Press

Paw Fest draws dozens for celebration of pets - WSIL TV
Paw Fest draws dozens for celebration of pets  WSIL TV

Pets of the Week | Pets | indexjournal.com - Index-Journal
Pets of the Week | Pets | indexjournal.com  Index-Journal

Galveston County Animal Resource Center pets of the week - Galveston County Daily News
Galveston County Animal Resource Center pets of the week  Galveston County Daily News

These adorable pets are looking for a forever home: June 12-13 - SILive.com
These adorable pets are looking for a forever home: June 12-13  SILive.com

Latest Advances In Pet Health - Fox 4
Latest Advances In Pet Health  Fox 4

Goodness snakes alive: Expo brings unusual pets to Lima - LimaOhio.com
Goodness snakes alive: Expo brings unusual pets to Lima  LimaOhio.com

PHOTOS: Gwinnett Animal Shelter Adoptable Pets of the Week — June 14 - Gwinnettdailypost.com
PHOTOS: Gwinnett Animal Shelter Adoptable Pets of the Week — June 14  Gwinnettdailypost.com

DoorDash Announces Partnership with PetSmart® Offering On-Demand Delivery of Pet Essentials - PRNewswire
DoorDash Announces Partnership with PetSmart® Offering On-Demand Delivery of Pet Essentials  PRNewswire

REMINDER: Do not leave your pets in the car on hot days - kwwl.com - kwwl.com
REMINDER: Do not leave your pets in the car on hot days - kwwl.com  kwwl.com

Don't forget to complete a pet safety hurricane checklist - ABC7 News
Don't forget to complete a pet safety hurricane checklist  ABC7 News

Pet Food Market to Touch USD 127.21 Billion by 2027; Declining Demand for Synthetic Foods to Prove Beneficial for Market Growth, Says Fortune Business Insights - GlobeNewswire
Pet Food Market to Touch USD 127.21 Billion by 2027; Declining Demand for Synthetic Foods to Prove Beneficial for Market Growth, Says Fortune Business Insights  GlobeNewswire

SALLY | Pet Day | thesunchronicle.com - The Sun Chronicle
SALLY | Pet Day | thesunchronicle.com  The Sun Chronicle

Standard Journal Pets of the Week for the Wednesday, June 16, 2021 edition - The Catoosa County News
Standard Journal Pets of the Week for the Wednesday, June 16, 2021 edition  The Catoosa County News

Good Day Pets – Meet Willow! - KCAU 9
Good Day Pets – Meet Willow!  KCAU 9

Many pets are being illegally dropped off at an animal shelter in Denham Springs - WAFB
Many pets are being illegally dropped off at an animal shelter in Denham Springs  WAFB

PR campaign for pet-ernity policies kicks off in Australia - PR Week
PR campaign for pet-ernity policies kicks off in Australia  PR Week

REVIEW: Cool Off with Refreshing New "Secret Life of Pets" Ice Pops from The Pets Store at Universal Studios Hollywood - wdwnt.com
REVIEW: Cool Off with Refreshing New "Secret Life of Pets" Ice Pops from The Pets Store at Universal Studios Hollywood  wdwnt.com

Pet of the Day: Jimmy! - WQOW TV News 18
Pet of the Day: Jimmy!  WQOW TV News 18

Cicada Invasion Photos From Readers: Cute Kids, Pets Meet Bugs - Patch.com
Cicada Invasion Photos From Readers: Cute Kids, Pets Meet Bugs  Patch.com

Available adoptable pets this week | Paws to Care | ktbs.com - KTBS
Available adoptable pets this week | Paws to Care | ktbs.com  KTBS

Officials in Malden offer affordable rabies vaccine clinic for pets - WCVB Boston
Officials in Malden offer affordable rabies vaccine clinic for pets  WCVB Boston

Happy Tails: Photos of Napa County's most-loved pets, June 2021 - Napa Valley Register
Happy Tails: Photos of Napa County's most-loved pets, June 2021  Napa Valley Register

Why some urge adopters to give older pets a second chance at life - Atlanta Journal Constitution
Why some urge adopters to give older pets a second chance at life  Atlanta Journal Constitution

Pets Fur People holds 8th annual Peltier Subaru Dirty Dog Wash - KLTV
Pets Fur People holds 8th annual Peltier Subaru Dirty Dog Wash  KLTV

Pet Vet: Hot weather and pets - WNDU-TV
Pet Vet: Hot weather and pets  WNDU-TV

Burbank Animal Shelter offers pet safety tips amid heat wave, high fire danger - KTLA Los Angeles
Burbank Animal Shelter offers pet safety tips amid heat wave, high fire danger  KTLA Los Angeles

Erie Humane Society fiestas for Senior Pets - erienewsnow.com
Erie Humane Society fiestas for Senior Pets  erienewsnow.com

Home Sellers Are Putting Pets in Listing Photos, and the Internet Can’t Resist (Buyers May Be Another Story) - Money
Home Sellers Are Putting Pets in Listing Photos, and the Internet Can’t Resist (Buyers May Be Another Story)  Money

Having a ruff day? FM area bars, restaurants open patios to pets for a pawsome experience - INFORUM
Having a ruff day? FM area bars, restaurants open patios to pets for a pawsome experience  INFORUM

Madison family displaced, several pets die following dryer fire, Fire Department says - Madison.com
Madison family displaced, several pets die following dryer fire, Fire Department says  Madison.com

Cat owner creates perfect sign to warn people about her thieving pet - indy100
Cat owner creates perfect sign to warn people about her thieving pet  indy100

Rashmika and Charmee Pose With Their Adorable Pets.. - Greatandhra.com
Rashmika and Charmee Pose With Their Adorable Pets..  Greatandhra.com

Pandemic brought increased pet adoptions and need for in-home animal hospice care - Charleston Post Courier
Pandemic brought increased pet adoptions and need for in-home animal hospice care  Charleston Post Courier

Photos: Dogs strut their stuff in Westminster Kennel Club show - Madison.com
Photos: Dogs strut their stuff in Westminster Kennel Club show  Madison.com

Summer Is Here! Don't Put Your Pet In Danger With This Mistake! - krforadio.com
Summer Is Here! Don't Put Your Pet In Danger With This Mistake!  krforadio.com

[Graphic News] 30% of pets at animal shelters adopted in 2020: data - The Korea Herald
[Graphic News] 30% of pets at animal shelters adopted in 2020: data  The Korea Herald

The Bird Is The Word | Summer Pets - Yellow Scene
The Bird Is The Word | Summer Pets  Yellow Scene

Dog walkers see demand soar as pet parents return to work - Spectrum News 1
Dog walkers see demand soar as pet parents return to work  Spectrum News 1

Boy sells Pokemon cards to help pay vet bills for sick puppy - Today.com
Boy sells Pokemon cards to help pay vet bills for sick puppy  Today.com

BARCS puts out plea for more fosters as more homeless pets come into the shelter - wmar2news.com
BARCS puts out plea for more fosters as more homeless pets come into the shelter  wmar2news.com

New SC regulation requires tegu owners to have pets microchipped, registered by Sept. 25 - Charleston Post Courier
New SC regulation requires tegu owners to have pets microchipped, registered by Sept. 25  Charleston Post Courier

Shenandoah Valley Animal Services Center celebrates National Foster a Pet Month - WHSV
Shenandoah Valley Animal Services Center celebrates National Foster a Pet Month  WHSV

My Pet Pal: Maya - News from southeastern Connecticut - theday.com
My Pet Pal: Maya - News from southeastern Connecticut  theday.com

Sarasota-Manatee pet care businesses 'bark' back post-pandemic - Sarasota Herald-Tribune
Sarasota-Manatee pet care businesses 'bark' back post-pandemic  Sarasota Herald-Tribune

Abandoned Dalmatian puppy with three legs rescued in Pennsylvania - Waterloo Cedar Falls Courier
Abandoned Dalmatian puppy with three legs rescued in Pennsylvania  Waterloo Cedar Falls Courier

Is It Illegal to Leave Your Pet in Your Car in Texarkana? Yes & No - kkyr.com
Is It Illegal to Leave Your Pet in Your Car in Texarkana? Yes & No  kkyr.com

Pets on 2: Dorchester Paws 6.9.21 - WCBD News 2
Pets on 2: Dorchester Paws 6.9.21  WCBD News 2

Pandemic pets are not being returned at local SPCA - The Winchester Star
Pandemic pets are not being returned at local SPCA  The Winchester Star

Pet of the week: Bloom - Billings Gazette
Pet of the week: Bloom  Billings Gazette

Vets Go Upscale to Care for Pets (and Their Owners) - The New York Times
Vets Go Upscale to Care for Pets (and Their Owners)  The New York Times

Dogs rescued from pet clinic fire in Clearwater die after being left in hot car - WFLA
Dogs rescued from pet clinic fire in Clearwater die after being left in hot car  WFLA

Mesa shelter offers refuge for pets & their owners during Telegraph Fire - AZFamily
Mesa shelter offers refuge for pets & their owners during Telegraph Fire  AZFamily

Local ‘Pet Lady’ Anne Howe passes away at 84 - KFDX - Texomashomepage.com
Local ‘Pet Lady’ Anne Howe passes away at 84  KFDX - Texomashomepage.com

Reno pet monkey might not be returned to owner after escaping in May, documents show - Reno Gazette Journal
Reno pet monkey might not be returned to owner after escaping in May, documents show  Reno Gazette Journal

Hot dog! How to protect your pet from the summer heat - KXAN.com
Hot dog! How to protect your pet from the summer heat  KXAN.com

Pet ownership surged during COVID-19. Veterinarians are exhausted. - The Philadelphia Inquirer
Pet ownership surged during COVID-19. Veterinarians are exhausted.  The Philadelphia Inquirer

Furry good news: More pets can now fly in cabin on overseas PCS flights - Military Times
Furry good news: More pets can now fly in cabin on overseas PCS flights  Military Times

Celebrating Paul's Pets: A legacy since 1985 - WRCBtv.com | Chattanooga News, Weather & Sports - WRCB-TV
Celebrating Paul's Pets: A legacy since 1985 - WRCBtv.com | Chattanooga News, Weather & Sports  WRCB-TV

How To Help Your Pandemic Pets With Separation Anxiety - LAist
How To Help Your Pandemic Pets With Separation Anxiety  LAist

The Dodo launches pet products review - Axios
The Dodo launches pet products review  Axios

How to limit pets’ stress as owners return to in-person work - WDIV ClickOnDetroit
How to limit pets’ stress as owners return to in-person work  WDIV ClickOnDetroit

Did you know you can shop for Shelter Pets on Amazon? - Dog of the Day
Did you know you can shop for Shelter Pets on Amazon?  Dog of the Day

PetSmart Launches New Brand Platform Celebrating The Pet Lover In Us All - PRNewswire
PetSmart Launches New Brand Platform Celebrating The Pet Lover In Us All  PRNewswire

18 Most Popular Movies About Pets - Newsweek
18 Most Popular Movies About Pets  Newsweek

Video platforms normalize exotic pets - Science Daily
Video platforms normalize exotic pets  Science Daily

‘DC League of Super-Pets’ Unveils All-Star Voice Cast with Kevin Hart, John Krasinski, Kate McKinnon and More - Hollywood Reporter
‘DC League of Super-Pets’ Unveils All-Star Voice Cast with Kevin Hart, John Krasinski, Kate McKinnon and More  Hollywood Reporter

Cultured Meat Companies Want To Transform The Pet Food Industry - Forbes
Cultured Meat Companies Want To Transform The Pet Food Industry  Forbes

6 Tips For Getting Your Dog Ready For Your Return To The Office - NPR
6 Tips For Getting Your Dog Ready For Your Return To The Office  NPR

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