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My Needs are Simple and Few!


My dear owner,

Thank you once again for giving me shelter. (Lick, slurp, lick, slurp) Aside from food, shelter and love, my needs are simple and few! Since I am dependent upon you to provide for me, we should discuss my basic needs. I can lend you the canine insight that you may lack as a human, particularly if I am your first canine companion pet.

Of course, I require a steady supply of food and fresh water, and while I long for the same quality of culinary delight that you routinely enjoy, I know that's an unrealistic expectation. As long as you feed me something that's nutritionally suited for my species, I'll happily devour whatever little morsels of people food you throw my way. I'm not particularly fond of that stuff that comes from the tap, but it'll do in a pinch. I draw the line at drinking from toilets.

Splish splash

In addition to my regular veterinary care, I'll need a flea and tick collar at a bare minimum. How would you like those critters crawling all over you? Please help me to prevent them from crawling on me.

If you want to show me off for company, how about you pick up some grooming aids so I can look my sexy best? I SO look forward to weekly shampoos. Who needs rubber duckies when you get to splash at humans at bath time? I understand that humans multitask, and I love those massages with the grooming gloves, so we could watch TV together while you give my coat a nightly massage. I cannot vacuum after myself (but maybe you could suggest that as an advanced course at obedience school), so you might want to pick up some of those hair pickup tools for yourself.

A bowl of my very own

I could use a doggie bowl or two, something simple, yet elegant, perhaps something with my name on it. It's not that I mind sharing your everyday bowls, but it would be nice to have something that's all mine when it comes to feeding and watering troughs. I'll need one for food and one for water, and an everyday pattern will suffice-no need for an expensive china pattern.

Collars and other jewelry

I look forward to our walks together, but it's just too tempting for me to stray when you walk me without a leash. I think the government suits must be on to us doggies, since they've enacted those pesky leash laws everywhere. So, if you want to continue spending this quality time with me, you'll need to find a leash that fits me properly, is strong enough to hold me, and is the proper length. If it's too long, I'll trip all over myself, but if it's not long enough, I won't have the room I need to roam. I know that there is a dizzying array of leashes available, but please use a little discretion and choose one with the right "look" for my breed so that all the other doggies don't make fun of me. They can be so darn cruel!

Creature comforts

I was told that most humans have jobs, so I understand that you'll be spending time away from me. If you could see your way clear to leaving a few creature comforts behind, it would really help. First, I don't want to hog your people furniture-it's too big for me anyway. I could use one of those nice, comfy doggie beds. Floors are meant to be walked on, not lounged upon. I know that there are a number of places that I should not go when you're gone, so spray that indoor repellent, and I'll learn the first time. I'm a quick study-something about Pavlov!

Dogs in toyland

Toys will help me pass the time, assist me in my development, and most importantly, distract me from the fact that you're not here. I could have some REAL fun if you'd get me my very own cat, but I realize that is not likely. Here is a list of things that I would really, really enjoy if you cannot get me my own cat:

- A nice supply of those rubber, chewy thingies

- Squishy, squeaky, talking toys

- Rawhide chews, dental chews, anything that I will mistake for a bone

- Treats, treats, and more treats - a never-ending supply of treats

Special occasion gifts

You humans have your porches, your patios and your tree houses. I would give my doggie eye teeth for my very own dog house. You could have Santa deliver it in time for the holidays, or you save it for a birthday treat. Either way, it'll give me my own little hideaway and protect me from the elements, should you take temporary leave of your human senses and leave me outside while you run one of your many errands. If you can't swing the canine estate just yet, maybe we could negotiate a doggie door?

Above all, I require the same devotion and attention that you expect from me. Treat me right, and I'll be your best friend for life.

Love and kisses,

Your beloved doggie

M J Plaster is a successful author who provides information on shopping online for pet supplies and needs and treats for dogs. M J Plaster has been a commercial freelance writer for almost two decades, most recently specializing in home and garden, the low-carb lifestyle, investing, and anything that defines la dolce vita.


TODAYS NEWS BY OFFICEJAX FREE ADVERTISING AND AD EXCHANGE SOLUTIONSMORE PETS INFORMATION RESOURCES updated Fri. May / 29 / 2020

3 ways your pets feel the COVID-19 anxiety, too - Futurity: Research News
3 ways your pets feel the COVID-19 anxiety, too  Futurity: Research News

Pets Q&A: Dealing with a digger - Minneapolis Star Tribune
Pets Q&A: Dealing with a digger  Minneapolis Star Tribune

Pets of the Week | Pets - Index-Journal
Pets of the Week | Pets  Index-Journal

How to introduce a new dog to other pets - WTOC
How to introduce a new dog to other pets  WTOC

Briona and more pets up for adoption in Phoenix-area shelters this week - AZCentral
Briona and more pets up for adoption in Phoenix-area shelters this week  AZCentral

Captain’s Log: Pet Food Oddities for Odd Pets During the Pandemic - Noozhawk
Captain’s Log: Pet Food Oddities for Odd Pets During the Pandemic  Noozhawk

Rio animal shelter delivers pets to Brazilians in lockdown – in pictures - The Guardian
Rio animal shelter delivers pets to Brazilians in lockdown – in pictures  The Guardian

Letter: Legislation would protect pets, livestock and people - Reading Eagle
Letter: Legislation would protect pets, livestock and people  Reading Eagle

Your pets are stressed out, too - Purdue News Service
Your pets are stressed out, too  Purdue News Service

You likely won't get COVID-19 from your pets—but you could give it to them - Medical Xpress
You likely won't get COVID-19 from your pets—but you could give it to them  Medical Xpress

Is it safe to take your pet to groomers as states reopen? Here’s what experts say - Fresno Bee
Is it safe to take your pet to groomers as states reopen? Here’s what experts say  Fresno Bee

American Heart Association brings back Best Friend Fridays to highlight how pets can help during COVID-19 - WTVB News
American Heart Association brings back Best Friend Fridays to highlight how pets can help during COVID-19  WTVB News

Animals Matter: How to prepare your pet and prevent separation anxiety when you return to work - San Antonio Express-News
Animals Matter: How to prepare your pet and prevent separation anxiety when you return to work  San Antonio Express-News

10 things to do with pets in L.A. this coronavirus summer - Los Angeles Times
10 things to do with pets in L.A. this coronavirus summer  Los Angeles Times

Fire and Rescue saves ten pets from house fire in Toledo, Ohio - WCYB
Fire and Rescue saves ten pets from house fire in Toledo, Ohio  WCYB

A Paws for Pets - York News-Times
A Paws for Pets  York News-Times

Betty Chinn's Homeless Foundation Receives Grant to Care for Pets - North Coast Journal
Betty Chinn's Homeless Foundation Receives Grant to Care for Pets  North Coast Journal

Adoptable pets for May 29-June 4 - Knoxville News Sentinel
Adoptable pets for May 29-June 4  Knoxville News Sentinel

Pets perish in fire | News, Sports, Jobs - Fort Dodge Messenger
Pets perish in fire | News, Sports, Jobs  Fort Dodge Messenger

Pet Of The Week And Free Food For Pets - The Transylvania Times
Pet Of The Week And Free Food For Pets  The Transylvania Times

dvm360® and Banfield Pet Hospital Set to Host Virtual Career Fair - Odessa American
dvm360® and Banfield Pet Hospital Set to Host Virtual Career Fair  Odessa American

Animal Welfare League of Alexandria distributes 5K pounds of free pet supplies during coronavirus pandemic - WTOP
Animal Welfare League of Alexandria distributes 5K pounds of free pet supplies during coronavirus pandemic  WTOP

Pet of the Week Ruby | News - Independent Tribune
Pet of the Week Ruby | News  Independent Tribune

'The Kaylee Project' warns against dangers of leaving pets, kids in hot cars - WBAY
'The Kaylee Project' warns against dangers of leaving pets, kids in hot cars  WBAY

Global Pet Oral Care Products Market Forecast to Generate Revenue of USD 2.81 billion by end of 2025 - PRNewswire
Global Pet Oral Care Products Market Forecast to Generate Revenue of USD 2.81 billion by end of 2025  PRNewswire

Toledo Fire and Rescue saves ten pets from house fire in East Toledo - WNWO NBC 24
Toledo Fire and Rescue saves ten pets from house fire in East Toledo  WNWO NBC 24

Yolo County Animal Shelter shares tips on taking care of pets during the summer heat - ABC10.com KXTV
Yolo County Animal Shelter shares tips on taking care of pets during the summer heat  ABC10.com KXTV

Rescue pets of the week: Ella and Shadow and Pirate and Slipper - SC Times
Rescue pets of the week: Ella and Shadow and Pirate and Slipper  SC Times

Oshkosh Area Humane Society has small pets for adoption - WBAY
Oshkosh Area Humane Society has small pets for adoption  WBAY

Give Back Thursday: H.O.P.E. For Animals – low cost vet for pets - WANE
Give Back Thursday: H.O.P.E. For Animals – low cost vet for pets  WANE

Man’s grooming routine for ‘pets’ will make you ROFL. Watch - Hindustan Times
Man’s grooming routine for ‘pets’ will make you ROFL. Watch  Hindustan Times

Pets of the week: Muese is a sight for sore eyes - Bucks County Courier Times
Pets of the week: Muese is a sight for sore eyes  Bucks County Courier Times

Pets of the Week: Speckles and Blythe - Daily Bulldog
Pets of the Week: Speckles and Blythe  Daily Bulldog

Craven-Pamlico pets of the week - New Bern Sun Journal
Craven-Pamlico pets of the week  New Bern Sun Journal

Homeward Bound Pet Rescue's Pet of the Week - Simon - Gilmer - Fetchyournews.com
Homeward Bound Pet Rescue's Pet of the Week - Simon - Gilmer  Fetchyournews.com

Adoptable Pet Of The Week - Sol - Santa Monica Daily Press
Adoptable Pet Of The Week - Sol  Santa Monica Daily Press

Greeley cop log: ‘Cracked out’ women fight on yard; upstairs pets relieve themselves on porch, leaking to lower level - Greeley Tribune
Greeley cop log: ‘Cracked out’ women fight on yard; upstairs pets relieve themselves on porch, leaking to lower level  Greeley Tribune

DIGGING DEEPER: Pandemic pet problem - KVOA Tucson News
DIGGING DEEPER: Pandemic pet problem  KVOA Tucson News

PET OF THE WEEK, JUNE 1, 2020: MEET NALA - wvua23.com
PET OF THE WEEK, JUNE 1, 2020: MEET NALA  wvua23.com

Local pet kennel comes to aid of victims of abuse and their pets - Steamboat Pilot & Today
Local pet kennel comes to aid of victims of abuse and their pets  Steamboat Pilot & Today

Veterinarian Addresses Concerns About Pets & COVID-19 - WHMI
Veterinarian Addresses Concerns About Pets & COVID-19  WHMI

AWLA Provides 5,000 Lbs. of Pet Supplies to Pet Owners This Spring - Alexandria Living Magazine
AWLA Provides 5,000 Lbs. of Pet Supplies to Pet Owners This Spring  Alexandria Living Magazine

KCBD’s Pet of the Day: Meet Coco - KCBD
KCBD’s Pet of the Day: Meet Coco  KCBD

24 Adoptable Shelter Pets Available Right Now in San Antonio - San Antonio Current
24 Adoptable Shelter Pets Available Right Now in San Antonio  San Antonio Current

Pets of the Week: May 28, 2020 - WSIL TV
Pets of the Week: May 28, 2020  WSIL TV

Furloughed workers hold pet food drive - WANE
Furloughed workers hold pet food drive  WANE

Colonial Capital pets of the week - New Bern Sun Journal
Colonial Capital pets of the week  New Bern Sun Journal

Ariana Grande Has Almost 1 Dozen Pets; Here Are Their Names and Types - Showbiz Cheat Sheet
Ariana Grande Has Almost 1 Dozen Pets; Here Are Their Names and Types  Showbiz Cheat Sheet

Are you paying more attention to your dog or cat during coronavirus quarantine? You're not alone, survey shows - USA TODAY
Are you paying more attention to your dog or cat during coronavirus quarantine? You're not alone, survey shows  USA TODAY

Pet Tales: Guardian Angels train and meet up with partners, finally - Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
Pet Tales: Guardian Angels train and meet up with partners, finally  Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Virus delays flooding solutions at Austin Pets Alive! building - KXAN.com
Virus delays flooding solutions at Austin Pets Alive! building  KXAN.com

PetValu invites pet owners to enter photo calendar contest - Middletown Press
PetValu invites pet owners to enter photo calendar contest  Middletown Press

May 29 roundup: Lawsuit protections, no layoffs and Pet Friday - Inside Higher Ed
May 29 roundup: Lawsuit protections, no layoffs and Pet Friday  Inside Higher Ed

Pet Owners Making the Cannabis Connection - Progressive Grocer
Pet Owners Making the Cannabis Connection  Progressive Grocer

18 products that actually remove pet hair - USA TODAY
18 products that actually remove pet hair  USA TODAY

Online Pet Adoptions a Success, Chicago Shelters Say - WTTW News
Online Pet Adoptions a Success, Chicago Shelters Say  WTTW News

Hidden Paws Network helping pet owners in need with free food, supplies - WeAreGreenBay.com
Hidden Paws Network helping pet owners in need with free food, supplies  WeAreGreenBay.com

Animal Humane Society hoping families adopt pocket pets who still need a home - KSTP
Animal Humane Society hoping families adopt pocket pets who still need a home  KSTP

How to Handle Your Pet's Anxiety - Lifehacker
How to Handle Your Pet's Anxiety  Lifehacker

Thief makes off with dozens of puppies and birds from Bronx pet store - New York Post
Thief makes off with dozens of puppies and birds from Bronx pet store  New York Post

Adopting a Pet During the Coronavirus Pandemic - NBC 10 Philadelphia
Adopting a Pet During the Coronavirus Pandemic  NBC 10 Philadelphia

How to prevent separation anxiety in pets as you head back to the office after Covid-19 - KVIA El Paso
How to prevent separation anxiety in pets as you head back to the office after Covid-19  KVIA El Paso

Pet Talk | Features | mtexpress.com - Idaho Mountain Express and Guide
Pet Talk | Features | mtexpress.com  Idaho Mountain Express and Guide

Mass. Pets Getting Seriously Hurt in Grooming Mishaps, Veterinarians Say - nbcboston.com
Mass. Pets Getting Seriously Hurt in Grooming Mishaps, Veterinarians Say  nbcboston.com

Families Foster Classroom Pets During Coronavirus Shutdown - NPR
Families Foster Classroom Pets During Coronavirus Shutdown  NPR

Local veterinarians seeing an increase of pets with snake bites - WBRC
Local veterinarians seeing an increase of pets with snake bites  WBRC

First-ever national virtual pet super adoption hopes to place thousands of pets - KUTV 2News
First-ever national virtual pet super adoption hopes to place thousands of pets  KUTV 2News

This is what happens to the pets left behind when their owners die from coronavirus - CNN
This is what happens to the pets left behind when their owners die from coronavirus  CNN

Pet of the Week, May 29, 2020 | News | kokomotribune.com - Kokomo Tribune
Pet of the Week, May 29, 2020 | News | kokomotribune.com  Kokomo Tribune

Coronavirus and pets: Scams exploit animal lovers in crisis - Los Angeles Times
Coronavirus and pets: Scams exploit animal lovers in crisis  Los Angeles Times

Adoptable pets from Arizona Humane Society and Maricopa County Animal Care (5/27/20) - ABC15 Arizona
Adoptable pets from Arizona Humane Society and Maricopa County Animal Care (5/27/20)  ABC15 Arizona

Want to adopt a pet? Here are 6 cuddly kittens to adopt now in Orlando - WKMG News 6 & ClickOrlando
Want to adopt a pet? Here are 6 cuddly kittens to adopt now in Orlando  WKMG News 6 & ClickOrlando

N.J. pets in need: May 25, 2020 - nj.com
N.J. pets in need: May 25, 2020  nj.com

Which Celebrity's Pets Would You Want to Quarantine With? Vote! - Billboard
Which Celebrity's Pets Would You Want to Quarantine With? Vote!  Billboard

Local realtors team up with animal rescue for pet food giveaway in Boardman - WKBN.com
Local realtors team up with animal rescue for pet food giveaway in Boardman  WKBN.com

Your quarantined pet may be acting odd. Here’s how to help. - The Washington Post
Your quarantined pet may be acting odd. Here’s how to help.  The Washington Post

Will pets have separation anxiety when we go back to work? - Globalnews.ca
Will pets have separation anxiety when we go back to work?  Globalnews.ca

Humane Pennsylvania gives away 2,500 pounds of pet food in 30 minutes - Reading Eagle
Humane Pennsylvania gives away 2,500 pounds of pet food in 30 minutes  Reading Eagle

This Nationwide Virtual Pet Adoption Is a ‘First-Ever’ - NBC Southern California
This Nationwide Virtual Pet Adoption Is a ‘First-Ever’  NBC Southern California

Pets strange behavior amid COVID-19 - 11Alive.com WXIA
Pets strange behavior amid COVID-19  11Alive.com WXIA

How to tell your dog or cat that Beshear said it's OK to leave and go back to work now - Courier Journal
How to tell your dog or cat that Beshear said it's OK to leave and go back to work now  Courier Journal

Man stabbed his dog, dumped pet in garbage bin, police say - The Spokesman-Review
Man stabbed his dog, dumped pet in garbage bin, police say  The Spokesman-Review

Pets and the Humans Who Loved Them - The Wall Street Journal
Pets and the Humans Who Loved Them  The Wall Street Journal

Pets will feel the shock when you go back to work. Here's how you can help - KUTV 2News
Pets will feel the shock when you go back to work. Here's how you can help  KUTV 2News

Protecting the pets | Toledo Blade - Toledo Blade
Protecting the pets | Toledo Blade  Toledo Blade

An App That Knows Your Pet Is More Than Just A Pet - WFMZ Allentown
An App That Knows Your Pet Is More Than Just A Pet  WFMZ Allentown

Hill's Pet Nutrition to Support Animal Shelters Impacted by COVID-19 - PetProductNews.com
Hill's Pet Nutrition to Support Animal Shelters Impacted by COVID-19  PetProductNews.com

Veterinarians reveal the biggest mistakes you're making when buying toys for your pets - Insider - INSIDER
Veterinarians reveal the biggest mistakes you're making when buying toys for your pets - Insider  INSIDER

We have 19 special pets ready to be adopted: May 23-24 - SILive.com
We have 19 special pets ready to be adopted: May 23-24  SILive.com

Pet of the Week: Meet Tyson - The News-Messenger
Pet of the Week: Meet Tyson  The News-Messenger

Can it be a ‘family’ vacation without the family pet? - OCRegister
Can it be a ‘family’ vacation without the family pet?  OCRegister

9 organizations giving a voice to US pet food processors - Pet Food Processing
9 organizations giving a voice to US pet food processors  Pet Food Processing

Meet this week’s Perfect Pet: Pablo - WSAV-TV
Meet this week’s Perfect Pet: Pablo  WSAV-TV

Nightmare scenarios as travelers attempt to fly with pets amid coronavirus - ABC News
Nightmare scenarios as travelers attempt to fly with pets amid coronavirus  ABC News

Cumberland County family looking for escaped pet bird - ABC27
Cumberland County family looking for escaped pet bird  ABC27

Pets for Life helps Madison pet owners survive the pandemic - Madison.com
Pets for Life helps Madison pet owners survive the pandemic  Madison.com

How's your pet's life in quarantine? - Herald-Mail Media
How's your pet's life in quarantine?  Herald-Mail Media

How Safe Are Pets from Coronavirus? - Yahoo Finance
How Safe Are Pets from Coronavirus?  Yahoo Finance

How to adopt your next pet safely and virtually - The Verge
How to adopt your next pet safely and virtually  The Verge

Expert Tips on How to Keep Pets Happy and Safe at Home During the Coronavirus Pandemic - PEOPLE
Expert Tips on How to Keep Pets Happy and Safe at Home During the Coronavirus Pandemic  PEOPLE

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