1. Focus on the other
Being known as a 'natural' at interpersonal communication is not
just a gift that a select few enjoy. We can all enjoy the
reputation of being 'a great communicator'.
Simply focus the conversation on the other person. This takes the pressure off you -- you don't have to be a witty bon-vivant to be a great communicator.
Avoid interrogating your new acquaintance, and if you are really nervous do your best to control twitches and jittery movements. And (best hint coming...) ALWAYS slow your speaking rate down. Nervousness makes us talk too fast.
2. The eyes have it
Here's a great 'rule breaker': instead of sticking to the
'respect someone's privacy and personal space' rule, when you
meet someone for the first time give them a good look right in
the eyes.
It's well known that when we look at someone we find attractive, our pupils dilate, a phenomenon that the other person instinctively picks up on. Well, that phenomenon can also be put to good use in our business dealings, too. Notice the other person's eye colour, say 'great' to yourself, and you'll find yourself involuntarily smiling. The other person will pick up on your mood.
But try and avoid smiling lecherously, or as a vampire would when contemplating a tasty new neck...
3. Get over your 'bad hair day'
Whilst 'being yourself' is always a good thing for relational
honesty, try and disguise your inherent pessimism and bad mood
from new acquaintances.
Even though you know you are just 'having a bad day' or a bad half-hour, the other person will probably decide that you are a 'full-time whinger', an impression and reputation hard to shake.
A bad mood will spread contagiously, bringing down the other person too. Better to start off positively; you can always let them see your 'other' side on another day...
4. "Mirror in the bathroom" **
Adjust your posture, voice and gestures to those of your new
acquaintance. Establish rapport by mirroring their head nods and
tilts. Speak at their pace and volume level. You'd be surprised
by just how many different 'voices' a successful salesperson uses
in a day -- they spend a large amount of time mirroring the other
person's gestures, voice, language, pace, intonation and
volume.
** (a wildly unsuccessful link to an 80s ska/reggae song)
5. Tread lightly...
He's talking about his new Holden Commodore; you're thinking of
your new Impreza WRX. Or she's talking about her latest small win
at the office and you're thinking about the new $1M account you
just landed single-handed.
Which do you reckon will be more impressive: you gloating about your wins and toys, or you letting the other person have their 15 minutes of fame?
Good manners, as well as psychological research, dictate that to impress your guest you should always keep at the forefront of your mind the question, "How am I making the other person feel?"
Actively encourage others to talk about themselves, and respond genuinely -- without bringing it back to yourself.
6. Focus on their achievements
Use flattery sparingly but powerfully by focusing on the other
person's achievements, not their personal attributes. Even if
they suspect you might be brown-nosing, they will still get a
warm glow from a well-directed compliment. "You have a great eye
for colour; I really like how you have put the office decor
together" is more flattering than, "Nice office".
"I like your new BMW - you must be a real asset to the company for them to give it to you" is more flattering than, "So who did you suck up to?"
Similarly, "You have a great eye for colour; I really like how you've put your wardrobe together" works better than, "You look totally shaggable in that dress".
7. It's never too late
Remember, there's very little that is unfixable in our
interpersonal business relationships. There is usually always
another chance to fix false first impressions.
Let's say you arrive at a meeting late, having just copped a parking ticket from the previous appointment. Your mood is not, as they might say, triumphant and glowing. Instead of responding appropriately to a new acquaintance's polite greeting, you mumble a grumpy 'yeah' and drop your laptop bag unceremonially into a nearby chair.
Okay, not a good start. But step outside the room for a moment, take a deep breath, count to seven (ten is too long a pause) re-enter the room and look your acquaintance in the eye. Apologise and explain why you are out of sorts. You might even want to turn it into a joke by saying something like, "I see you just met my evil twin."
And remember to cut others some slack if they make a bad first impression on you, too! What comes around, goes around...
When you match consumer psychology with effective communication styles you get a powerful combination. Lee Hopkins can show you how to communicate better for better business results. At Hopkins-Business-Communication-Training.com you can find the secrets to communication success.
MORE RESOURCES updated Thu. February / 09 / 2012 BoldSky | Remedies To Lighten Dark Finger Joints BoldSky To get rid of dark finger joints, here are few natural remedies. Take a look. 1. Scrub everyday while taking bath. This is one simple home remedy to get rid of dark finger joints. You can use a loofah to remove dead skin. Always apply a moisturizer ... |
Daily Chat: Home remedies... San Angelo Standard-Times No wonder so many turn to home remedies for what ails ya! Gargling with salt water for sore throat. One lady used a shaman-type ritual on me once involving an egg and a prayer for a headache. It worked! So what home remedies do you recommend for the ... |
Study finds many home remedies for acidity trump pharma drugs Times of India A series of tests conducted by Consumer Education and Research Society (CERS), Ahmedabad, found that many home remedies are more effective than pharmaceutical medications. As per the results, over-the-counter (OTC) drugs like antacids provide relief ... |
 BoldSky | Simple Cure For Excessive Burping BoldSky Today, we will discuss on burping cure with some natural home remedies. Take a look. Burping is caused when the food passage is filled with air bubbles (that are formed while talking, laughing, sitting in odd positions etc). The bubbles rise in form of ... |
Expert advice: Home remedies for headaches Times of India Dr. Vikram Singh, Consultant, Neurosurgery at Moolchand Medcity, gives us some excellent home remedies for headaches. Read and practise these tips today. Over to Dr. Vikram Singh... Hydrate yourself: Dehydration can be one of the top causes for a ... |
Home remedies for glowing skin Times of India Today, with expert inputs from Dermatologist Dr Meghna Gupta of Delhi Skin Centre, let's get back to our roots and understand a few quick home remedies for glowing skin. - Coconut oil has anti-inflammatory properties. Virgin coconut oil or coconut ... |
India-specific Home Remedies Will Be The USP For Medico.in: Elan Dekel, Medico ... VC Circle He added, “We will also keep the India specific home remedies in mind like Ayurveda to reach out to the larger audience.” Backed by VC firms like First Round Capital, FirstMark Capital, Greylock, Nexus Venture Partners and prominent angel investors, ... |
Fabulous Frizz Free Hair At Home – J F Lazartigue Inventorspot I searched for some at-home remedies for curly or frizzy hair that would provide similar results for a fraction of the cost. French hair experts from JF Lazartigue has come to the rescue with a line of straightening products consisting of shampoo, ... |
Home Remedies: The Quick Fix COS The Campus The role health plays in scholastics demonstrates the value of knowing reliable treatments. Many home treatment methods exist descending from a variety of cultural traditions, however most minor symptoms are easier to avoid by adhering to proper habits ... |
 Care2.com | 6 Wonderful Ayurvedic Home Remedies Care2.com Give these simple Ayurvedic remedies a chance to work their magic. Chew on a clove slowly, letting the juice penetrate the affected area. Clove has been used since ancient times as a star treatment for dental problems. It contains a healing compound ... |
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